♥ Quartet Performance at Your Service ♥

If you are organizing any sort of events, ranging from dinner party, wedding, birthday party, retirement party...any sort of gathering and you need some light entertainment such as a String Quartet performance. Don't hesitate any longer coz me and my friends will be at your service ^_^ You can contact me through e-mail; wani_musician@yahoo.com and I'll let you know all the details ♥ ♥

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

I Need To Get Out

I envy rich people.  I do.  Not because of love over money.  Mostly, because my need for money.  Getting an Unconditional Letter to study abroad is just a speck on the tip of the iceberg.  What makes it difficult for me is that I live in Malaysia.  Where idiots want to be an expert at religion, where everything that is not religiously in line to "their idea" of Islam is considered haram.  Also, a country where arts is look down upon probably lower than dirt.  Believe me, if I have enough money, I won't even be posting this because I will be more than happy to get away from these idiots.  Up to this point, I have a total of 6 rejections on student loans and scholarships, and many others without any answers.  Why?  Because they don't support art.  That's why.  Like, for crying out loud, it is a student loan.  LOAN.  I'm going to pay the damn thing back, why can't you just give me the damn loan?  I'm getting sick of people giving me a look when I say I'm doing music.  Why?  Am I under the "haram" category?  I am so sick with all these ignorant people who are so judgemental and discriminative "all in the name of Islam" crap.  Fuck you, because Islam is about peace, respect and love, and what you all been doing is the total opposite of that.  Why is it that non-Muslim countries can have more peace and respect with each other than this so-called good Islamic country?  It's just mind blowing to see the amount of idiots who call themselves religious by being disrespectful and narrow minded on a daily basis.  DAILY BASIS.  Even our Prophet Muhammad SAW respected people of different religions and beliefs, and let them practice their faith without judgement and discrimination.  So why are these idiots think themselves higher than our Prophet Muhammad SAW by judging and discriminating people of different faiths?  I even heard stories of our Prophet's love towards arts.  So why are these idiots think themselves higher than our Prophet Muhammad SAW by looking down on arts and labeled everything in arts as haram?  Our Prophet Muhammad SAW treated everything and everyone around him with respect and love, even if those people have different faiths, he still respected them...so why can't Malaysian Muslims do the same?  How holy are you that give you the rights to decide who goes to heaven or hell?  Who give you the rights to decide who has sinned and who has not?  For all I know, you sinned more than moderate Muslims in this country with all of your judgements and discriminations towards people who are different from you.  Don't tell me the "if you don't like it then leave" bullshit because I've been trying to do that for a while.  It's never really in my intention to leave for good, I just want to get out of this horrible place for a while and just be inspired.  I want knowledge and experience from a different land.  I want perspectives from different angles.  I want to feel alive...because believe me, I don't feel like that anymore in this country.  Slowly, I am beginning to feel like I am losing my soul and life is getting more and more grey.  I can't breathe, I can't move.  I need to get out and break free from this nonsense.  Oh how I wish I have the money to get out of here.  Not forever, just temporarily.  I say this because I still care for Malaysia, it is my home anyway...and I want to see the people in this country can live harmoniously together with respect and love for each other despite the differences in race and religion.  I also want to see people in this country respect and appreciate all kind of arts.  Music, dancing, theatre, paintings, and many others.  Our arts cultures are dying, Malaysia is losing the rich cultural identity, all because people look at arts as nothing more than a hobby or a waste of time.  It is all because of all these damn chaos that are happening in this country.  I am currently still finding ways and alternatives to get enough funding to make my dream of studying abroad comes true.  It's not over yet, I can still have my chance, and I will have my chance.  I just have to believe, and keep fighting for it.

*image taken from Tumblr

Saturday, June 06, 2015

This has to stop…

I find it very annoying when people compare.  I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way as well.  If you want to compare things or products...it's okay.  What I find annoying is when people start comparing one person (or group of people) to another.  In my case, it has to do with people comparing those who are doing full time job as a freelance musician, and those musicians who are doing freelance as a part time job.  Dude, you can't expect our priorities to be exactly the same.  Don't go around saying "We perform too but we are going to give more priorities to this thing" as if to say I should be able to do the same.  Well why not just sit a moment and think before you say or write something, will you?  I am a full time freelance musician, yes, I teach violin as a part time job but that's only a once a week thing.  The gigs that I get every month is where my main monthly income comes from.  Why can't people just understand that?  I take those gigs that take up so much of my time and energy not because I have too much free time, it's because it is my job.  Do I love my job?  Absolutely.  What pisses me off is when people look at gigs as a hobby or a part time job.  Guess what?  It can be a full time job.  Get that nicely wrap in your head before you want to start comparing people who do gigs as a part time job and people who do gigs as a full time job.  Seriously...some people just don't take the time to think.

Not that I can't give commitment to other things, of course I can, but in the best way that I can.  At least I get the job done, at least when I come for rehearsal, I am always early.  On top of that, I've been giving the best commitment that I can so far, just that when you want to add more rehearsals, of course I need to say in advance that I might need to skip a few, not every week, only when I have gigs that give me monthly income.  And that is if, and only IF, I get gigs that month.  If I've been late for all rehearsals, not able to play anything, and still not giving my absolute commitment...then yes, I have problems.  The thing is, am I ever late for rehearsals?  No.  Do I missed most of the rehearsals so far?  No.  Am I screwing up all of my parts that I play?  No, it might not be the best because I'm not the best violinist, but at least I don't screw up my parts.  Like I said, I give my best commitment in the best way that I know how...and that is to get the job done.

So, all of this comparing stuff...it just has to stop.  Seriously, it must.  You want me to compare?  I have loads of things that I can compare with but I choose not to.  Why?  Because what's the point?  It's not going to make anything better and it certainly not going to make me or anyone else feel better anyway.  There are other ways to get people to fully commit, and comparing everyone's life is just not one of them.  It's absolutely annoying and I am not a fan of it.  Also, don't be getting this the wrong way, because this is completely a rant of annoyance.  I don't hate anyone that I work with, because I don't know anyone personally enough to be hating them, and I try to keep it that way with people I'm working with for the first time, so that it's easier for me to be professional with them.  But when people start comparing, especially if it involves me...I just can't.  It's annoying and I will start ranting about it like what I'm doing right now.  

The thing is, nobody is perfect, nobody is the same.  Sometimes we just have to make things work, and if it just don't work, we find other solutions.  I'm sorry if I seems like I don't care and don't give my full commitment, but that's just not the case.  You just have to stop looking at things from your perspectives alone and try to put yourself from a different angle.  Try to understand things from other people's eyes as well.  You are not a freelance musician, gigging is just a hobby or part time job to you, so turning down gigs so you can give your priority to something else is more possible.  I am a full time freelance musician, the money that I get from the gigs I played for are my ways to pay the bills and feed myself and my cats (yes, my cats are among my top priorities).  You can't just expect me to drop everything and not have any income for two months straight.  Like I said, I give my best commitment in the best way that I possibly can.  I get the job done, and I do put this as a priority, just that sometimes, I might need to make way for other things so that I can get my monthly income.  If that's still too difficult to understand, then maybe next time don't get full time freelance musician for a longterm project unless you give them some income every month to cover up all the gigs that they have to turn down.

*taken from Tumblr