Saturday, February 18, 2017

Mad World

It's a funny world we're living in right now, don't you think so?  We are living in a world where the moment someone disagrees with you, or have different preference, people just start to lose their mind and just be defensive and/or offensive.  It's becoming a challenge to just disagree and discuss about it rationally rather than everyone just start to get angry and throwing insults for no reason.  The media doesn't seem to help either, they don't care about their content anymore, all they care about is getting the views, getting the clicks.  I remember hearing Denzel Washington said "if you don't read the news, you're uninformed, but if you read the news, you're misinformed."  I was paraphrasing, but in just one sentence he pretty much sums it all up.

People want equality, but only if it's equal to "their kind."  For example, it is extremely wrong and offensive for straight people to make fun of gay people's sexuality, but for some reason it is okay for gay people to make fun of straight people's sexuality.  Or, having an all-white cast in a film doesn't promote diversity, but having an all-black cast, or all-Asian cast in a film is okay.  You see, I know one side might seems "more okay" because they are the minority, so people don't get so worked up about it, but that doesn't make it equal.  Just because you get it your way, doesn't make it equal.  Equality is simple, let me put it this way:  If it is wrong for a man to hit a woman and be abusive, then it is EQUALLY wrong for a woman to hit a man and be abusive.  If it is wrong for straight people to bully and make fun of people of LGBT, then it is EQUALLY wrong for LGBT people to bully and make fun of straight people.  If a film with all-white cast is not diverse, then any other cast with only the same race, may it be all black, or all Asian, or all Latinos, are all EQUALLY not diverse.  It is such a simple concept, but too often overlooked.  Why?  Because of the mentality of "they have it their way for too long, it's time they feel the way we feel and be discriminated once in awhile."  You might have a different opinion than me, but the way I look at it, you cannot expect to have a positive change with a negative attitude and/or mindset.  If it's wrong one way, it should be wrong the other way as well.  As simple as that.

*taken from Tumblr

Then we have the people of religion/faith, those that believe in God, and the people of atheism, those that don't.  This is a funny scenario, because it's basically the same kind of thinking but on different side of the coin.  An atheist can go to an individual with faith and asks "can you prove to me that God exists?" and the faithful person said "No" then the atheist said "then I don't believe you."  But then, the person of faith asks the atheist "Well, can you prove to me that God doesn't exist?" and the atheist said "No." and the faithful person said "Then I don't believe you too."  Can't you just see how exactly the same thinking the two person have but just on different spectrum?  So why can't people just respect the fact that people have different beliefs?  And being judgemental doesn't require you to believe in God or in a higher power.  The moment you start looking down on people who believe differently from you, may it be in a different God, or in no God at all, you're being a judgemental asshole.  Being judgemental comes from pride and ego, not from believing in God or not.

And this judgemental mindset doesn't end there.  No, hell no.  It also exists in so many other aspects of life.  As long as you are holding on to your ego, and the desire to be the righteous one, you will always be judgemental.  This includes to race, and even something like someone's diet, like the conflict between vegans and non-vegans.  Look, I have met all sorts of people with all sorts of diet.  I, myself, don't drink alcohol and don't eat pork and a few other things.  And I have friends who are vegetarian, who are vegan, who live on gluten-free diet, who hates chocolate, and much more.  So I don't get how non-vegans (meat eaters) can immediately look down at vegans, just as much as I don't get how vegans can immediately look down at meat eaters.  I know for vegans, you want to spread awareness, you want to help the animals, and you want more people to be vegans because you think that's the right thing to do, therefore you think you're the righteous one.  But you can't just shove down your beliefs down other people's throat and lose your shit when people spit them back out.  You cannot expect to be making a difference through negative acts sugar coated with the "for the greater good" principles.  As for meat eaters, I know you probably think some vegans are a little extreme, and just ridiculous, but it's their choice.  I don't see why you need to be judgemental over people who are living on a different diet from you.  If you want to bring positive change to the world, to the environment, you have to lead by example.  You can't just go to people and attack them by saying "YOU'RE WRONG!! YOU'RE ON THE WRONG!! I'M THE RIGHT ONE!!! BE LIKE MEEEEE!!!!"  You will just end up pushing people away even further.  We need to come into terms to work together, slowly, make our way in the directions that can bring positive changes, not just to us, but to all creatures of earth.

*taken from Tumblr
Such madness in the world right now.  So tiring to just think about them.  People are too self-righteous, clinging too much to their ego and pride, thinking too much of being right, that they forget the most basic thing:  Being respectful.  People are only choosing to hear what they want to hear, see what they want to see, and believe what they want to believe, that anything that doesn't go the way they want to hear, see, or believe, is just plain wrong and offensive.  Everyone continue expecting other people to change, that they forgot that they need to change too.  Be the change you want to see in the world...

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Still Alive

Hello my dear blog, and whoever that might be reading.  It has been awhile since I wrote something here.  I have not been writing any film reviews like I always do not because I didn't feel like writing reviews, it is because I have not been to the cinema since the last film review that I wrote, which was Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them.  This can only mean one thing, I missed some of big blockbusters lately.  From Moana, Rogue One, La La Land, and plenty others.  I know, I have been missing out.  I do wish I will get to watch them all at some point.  So far, I have not been to the cinema at all in 2017.  Hopefully soon though.

You're probably wondering what happened to me that I stop going to the cinema, or probably not, you probably don't even care, but what the heck, I'm going to tell you anyway.  Let's just say my priorities kind of shifted lately to other things.  I need to focus on many other things and that gives me barely any time to go to the cinema.  I am in my final year of postgraduate here in Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama, and I guess it just shift my focus to more serious things.  Although, I have to admit that I probably should give myself a break once in awhile and just do something fun for a chance, like going to the cinema, lol.

I think a lot lately.  Which is probably not a good thing, because I tend to overthink everything, and I have been trying to have more focus and not overanalyze or overthink things too much.  However, I have been feeling like I'm falling back into the old habit.  That's not really a good thing, it will just heightened my anxiety, especially in performing.  I've been trying to get back into meditating, and yoga.  Lacking in discipline when it comes to the two things that actually help to calm my mind effectively.  That's probably why I'm falling back into the old habit.

*taken from Tumblr
One of the reason why I am starting to think too much again lately is basically trying to figure out how can I just believe in myself?  Let just say that I am getting tired of having anxiety when I perform.  I want to be able to share with people what I can create through my playing, I want to be able to go to audition without shaky hands in front of the panels, I just want to be confident.  I tried many things, mindfulness breathing, yoga, meditating, embracing the fear, eat banana, eat dark chocolate, and many other things, but I still find myself not being able to just relax, always forgetting to breathe while I play.  Or just not being able to stop thinking that I am not good enough.  People can give me all sorts of encouragement that they want, but at the end of the day, it is up to me to believe in myself, and that is the one thing I am struggling with.  Please don't confuse this to self-loath.  It is nothing like that, I do love myself, but at the same time I am having trouble believing that I am not the worst violinist in the room, I just can't stop myself from thinking that everyone else is so much better than me.  I just can't stop comparing myself to other people.  I know, it's a horrible thing to do.  I guess because I was always being compared (in a negative way) to with someone else ever since I'm little, it just become engraved in my mind to do the same, and just become a parasite to my mind.

Oh well, I don't really want to write too long.  I'm a little tired, and I don't want to bore other people with my life's problem.  I see you when I see you.. Hopefully soon :)

*taken from Tumblr