Tuesday, October 13, 2009

a little bit too honest?

well...that's me. "too" honest. i think it's good...but i don't think others share the same opinion as i do. i have my reason for being a quiet person, because i tend to hurt people when i talk. because when i talk, i'll be a little bit too honest without me realizing it. some people can live with that, but there are also those who can't. well, i can't please everybody right? i mean, everybody has their own good and bad attitude, and some of them we don't even realize that we're doing it. i know i have some bad attitudes, i can be a bit bossy, peaky, and sometimes i tend to take over something, and i easily envy other people achievement...and i easily lose my trust to someone...and i also talk without any insurance...lolx. i tend to be more honest when i am irritated, angry or fed up. but what i say, is for me the truth. because it's from the heart and on what i think. and it does hurts...truth hurts. but at least it will give that someone something to think about right? i know i do...if people say something bad about me...by being honest of course...not something insulting. i know i will get upset. for sure...but, then i will think about it...either it's true or not. at least i know how i behave to other people right? it hurts...but at least it can make you realize of the truth. and when i say something honest that might be heart piercing...i'm not that sorry. i don't know why. coz i let it out so my conscious is clear...i don't feel so bad. if that someone still can't accept it after their deep thinking...then sorry to say, there's nothing more i can do to help. the damage is done, if they feel like they are unable to tolerate anymore coz they still can't accept on what i said, then there's nothing more i can do. i'm not the type of person who blindly apologize...i actually do my "deep thinking" before apologizing to someone. i will think if i'm doing the right thing...and if i believe that i did...then i won't apologize. if they can't accept it...deal with it...it's a weird fact...but it is a fact. it's part of who i am...even though it might not be so good...but i think it's important. coz they are more dishonest people in this world nowadays...as the malay say it..."terlampau nak jaga hati org lain, sampai gigit bibir sendiri...". if i want to translate it...it will mean, you are trying too hard to please people no matter how many unpleasant behavior they did to you, you just keep your mouth shut and keep yourself from being honest just because you don't want the other people to feel bad. well...here's the thing...i don't want to be like that. i prefer to be honest even if it might hurts...but the truth...will set you free...no matter how heart piercing it is...but it will...sooner or later...in any possible way, it will set you free...
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