Sunday, August 22, 2010

Wani, please don't be jealous

Okay, I'm not saying I'm jealous of someone else happiness or anything. Just that I've been away from friends for quite some time now that I began to miss them and become jealous of every group gathering between my friends that is being posted in facebook.

Sometimes I'm not even jealous, sometimes I'm just plainly sad. Sometimes I feel like I'm being forgotten. For some people it might means nothing because they will always have other friends to turn to. But me, I don't have many friends that I can rely on. I can count with my fingers how many friends that hang out with me most and are pleasant to have a conversation with.

And I don't have much friends from school that still in touch with me either. So, it just saddened me I guess to see that I'm slowly drifting out of their lives. Sometimes it's more like me needing them rather than them needing me. Just because I know I can rely on them, it doesn't mean they will feel the same.

I'm not trying to be sentimental or anything, but I admit that I'm not someone that people call "the-cool" type of friends. I'm more like "the-tag-along" kind of friend. I don't talk much in a group of people that I don't really know, so people will think I'm a snob, and a human nature behavior will lead to them telling people that I'm a snob which will lead to me having trouble to find friends. That's why I really appreciate the ones that I have. Maybe that's why I'm a bit worried to be cast out of their lives. Because if that happen...I won't have anyone to turn to...I will be a lonely bird...

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