Thursday, November 11, 2010

hurmm...................~

i got this feeling...where i am gaining more and more haters. i think it's because once i posted a comment/status/post about friends who give excuses of not practicing at facebook. when i say friends, i mean the ones from uitm of course. because most musicians that i know out of uitm have a good discipline in self-practice. i am not saying that i am perfect at self-practicing but at least i try my best to practice everyday regardless of how busy i am. i am not sorry for what i wrote, i truly am not, because for me, if you want to be a musician, lame excuses of not practicing for a long period of time such as assignments etc. is actually not acceptable. but i guess people...as usual, prefer to take every single thing seriously. i think i said this a few times already in this blog that it is easier for people to hate me than like me. that's why i have more haters than friends. i think it is because, i don't socialize much, so people don't know me, but when i give my own opinions, it is usually very straight forward, i won't try to make it sound nice...i just let the words out in a way that most people can straight away get the point of what i'm trying to say. but then of course, people will look at the opinion as a sarcasm. and will accuse me of being snobbish, a "star", showing off. but the problem is...people never try to even get to know me. not even a quarter of people that know me know how incredibly insecure i am with myself, how i afraid of the judgment of other people, how i am terribly lacking of self-confidence, how much i don't believe in myself. i know it's easier to hate me than to know me because i am a boring person, so, it's not fun to hang out with me. i guess i just have to accept the fact that me, Nur Izwani Binti Ismail is just someone that will easily be hated by people around her.

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