Thursday, January 27, 2011

arrived - moving on

now i safely arrived at Dumfries, Scotland
it's 4:30am in Malaysia on Jan 28 but it's only 8:30pm on Jan 27 here in Scotland
this few days made me realize how i like the warmth of Malaysia

*

from my previous post
i'm not ready to talk too much about it yet
but let me just bring down here to public and tell you what it's about
last year, i auditioned for Birmingham Conservatoire and the result came out this morning and i didn't get accepted in
i was completely devastated
i worked really damn hard but it's still not enough
i know everything happened for a reason
i know this is not the end
i know i need to stand up again and keep trying
but sometimes not everyone around me gets it...and will try to tell me how much of a failure i have been, how much i have been wasting my time, how i've been nothing but a burden...
i just got that from my mom
my dad will probably say i'm wasting his money and useless
maybe that's why i am a lot more frustrated than i should've been
because i know of what's coming
but what's the point if people say people become successful by learning from their failures if every time i fail in something...all i get is more down words from my family instead of a support to work harder and not give up? it's not like i fail a lot throughout my life.
i might not be the best in what i do...but i don't fail in it...
why must i rely on myself, my boyfriend and my friends to tell me that?
is it because i'm never good enough?
well...like i said, everything happened for a reason
and this words that i wish not to hear is something that i have to face when i'm back home
in the mean time, since i failed to get in...and i'll be 22 this year
i might as well continue my study locally
but i'm not going to register to UiTM
i'm planning on studying in a different institution. we'll see

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