Wednesday, February 16, 2011

finding a way out

ever since i came back from visiting my sister in Scotland. I've been nothing but depressed, lonely, sad, frustrated, angry. everything is just not right. my smiles and laughter feel fake. i cry alone in my room at night just thinking on how to get myself over this phase of my life. i'm losing faith. i'm losing strength. my wounds are not healing but getting deeper. my brain is numb while my heart is aching non stop, from i close my eyes to sleep until i woke up in the morning, the pain is still there. i rarely smile after waking up nowadays, not like i used too. i don't like how this is changing me. i know everything happened for a reason. but i am yet to see the reason in this or i am just too blind to notice it. i'm losing my focus. i'm losing my charisma. i need it back. i want it back. i really wish that there is someone that i can really sit down and talk to and just cry. it might not help to improve the situation...but that's exactly what i want. to know that there's someone out there that can help. but i don't want to bore others with my problem. i don't know who to turn to. not trying to be egoistic...but i will feel like i'm wasting their time. i don't want to be a burden. i know what i want in life, until now i have a clear perception on what i want in life. but right now, i'm losing my directions to get there and it's really giving me a headache. i want to be happy. i really do. but now, everything is just........... *sigh*

*photos from Tumblr

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