Saturday, April 23, 2011

I'm no ordinary


Sometimes I found myself surprisingly tolerable. I tend to tolerate more without me realizing it. I'm not really sure how much people tolerate with me, I'm not really a difficult person to handle. I might be difficult to understand but I'm not difficult to work with.

I'm not that horribly jealous type either. I mean, at least I don't let jealousy take over me. I know how to get it under control and not show it. I guess as long as there's no serious speculation about him being fishy with another girl, I'm fine with it. I trust him. But don't worry, I did warn him what will happen if people make speculation about him and other girl. People won't simply speculate without a reason. It's either they are trying to bring you down so they will always anticipate even for the smallest mistake. OR...you get too comfortable with someone else that people begin to speculate. But one way or another, it depends on you. If you don't take care of your actions, if you don't create boundaries on how far is "friendly" to avoid those kind of rumors, it shouldn't really be a problem.

I know I won't be having much of that problem, I am basically shy, I don't freely hold another guy coz it'll make me feel awkward, sometimes I do, when we're joking and fooling around but never out of the blue holding them for no reason. I don't hug other guys either. Basically, I just talk. I guess I have my childhood to thank for. But still, even if you avoid physical contact, it doesn't mean you run away from speculation of other people. I've been there last time, how people simply speculate you with other people and spread the rumor around. It's stupid...if you're not sure of it, don't simply assume and tell people about it.

Well, I guess it is part of life after all, to deal with this nonsense. Well, I know I'm not much of an interesting person to be with. But I do wish to be a dream of someone special. I admit, seeing other pretty girls trying to get too comfortable does give me a little bit of insecurity. But I told myself, physical beauty attracts lust. Inner beauty is the one attracts the heart and the soul. All I have to do is believe in my inner beauty :)

*photos from Tumblr

No comments: