Tuesday, December 20, 2011


Are you the type of people that have plenty of friends that remember you?
If not plenty then at least one...boy/girlfriend excluded.

For someone like me...
I can say that a bunch of people that I know are my friends,
but sometimes I don't really feel like I'm their friends.

I mean,
friends suppose to remember you, sincerely wants to hang out with you and stuff.
I...don't really have that.

If Thairy goes back to his hometown...
I have no one.
No one remembers me, no one ask me to hang out with them, and if I ask them to hang out, they're always conveniently busy with something.
Even if I am with a bunch of people, no one really pays attention if I say something sometimes.

Which of course makes me wonder...
am I a friend to someone?
I don't blame other people for not being a friend to me...
I'm sure it's me, considering it happens pretty much to a lot people that I know.
They don't hate me...but at the same time...I'm too plain.
I'm not interesting enough to be remembered.
I know...I'm a boring person. That's one of the reason why I am a friend when I am in their presence but just "someone-they-know" when I'm not around.

Like true love...I'm sure every individual have a true friend too.
I'm sure mine is out there somewhere...
that one person that I can be myself with and not feel awkward about it.
So at least...if Thairy is back to his hometown, I won't feel so lonely.
Because literally...
he is my love and my best friend...I don't have any other best friend BUT him.
I don't have any other people that will say "yes" when I asked to hang out, I don't have any other shoulder to cry on...
when we have argument on something and not talking to each other...the impact that it did to me is worse because I just keep everything to myself.
I remember not eating the whole day and lost weight from an argument last time out of depression because of no one that I trust enough to let it out to.

Which is kind of sad really...
it makes me feel very lonely at times.
And I don't want to complain too much about it...
but once in awhile...I just feel like getting it off my chest.

True friends....
what an intriguing idea...

*photos from Tumblr


Anonymous said...

heyyyyyyyyyy don't say that. i've always been here waiting. i thought u're busy or simply dont like having me around anymore and thats why i stay in silence. lets be as close as we were again. decision is on u.


Wani said...

Aiyo!! That's so mean!! Bila masa don't want you around? Busy...maybe. But not the second one. I always wonder what you've been doing lately. Are you still playing your violin? Are you still studying or working? Tp tu lahh.....distance is one of the contributing factor.