Thursday, December 19, 2013

Internship with the NSO

Hullo!  I know this post is kinda late.  I finished my internship officially on December 13, 2013 (Friday).  Let me just say, to be the only internship student did make me feel kinda lonely at times but I have no regrets whatsoever in doing my internship there.  Mainly because I want to avoid doing too much of admin work because that is not the reason why I majored in music.  I would say from my time there, what I learn most is how much work I really need technically to improve myself.  I mean, I know I have a lot of technical problems on my violin playing, but after looking back at videos of my internship recitals, I realised how it's actually a lot more than I thought.

I am slowly working on it.  Not sure how long it will take but I really do feel like if I keep working on it, I can get better.  One thing that is still a problem to me will be my confidence issue.  I don't know how to just believe in myself.  I used to, but something happened that ripped off a big portion of my confidence.  It is not really a failure that ripped it off, more like no support system from people you really need to be there for you.  Ever since then, it got kinda worse really, I'm still trying to get better.  Some days are good, some are not, but I always try regardless.

Internship also left me with the question of what I want to do next after I graduate.  I have ideas, but I don't know if I should take the leap of faith in doing what I really want and not knowing how that will turn out to be...or do what people expect me to do where there might be job for me.  I know people always say leave room for no regrets, so that is why I'm still considering.  We will see I guess.  In the meantime, I will just try to improve myself in every way :)

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