Monday, April 14, 2014

Prelude to being 25

Time really does flies, right?  In less than 24 hours, I will be 25 year-old.  Can you believe it?  I'm already half way through my 20s and still have so much to learn in life.  There are still people out there who think I look younger than 25 *blush* but I know myself, and I know that my thoughts are older than 25.  I don't look at it as a bad thing, it probably just means I'm wiser that I look?  LOL.  I always avoid comparing my life to other people, and I also always try to avoid comparing people's life with those who may seem to be less fortunate.  We are all put in our state of life by destiny, we are where we are in life because that is where our purpose in life might be, or it could be where we find our purpose in life before pursuing to that real path in a different place.  Everyone will have their adventures of life and each of them will be different, so I don't think comparing my life with those who live in poverty will be such a good idea.  It may seems that they have a lot of challenges in life, but for all I know, they might be happier and more appreciative of what they have.  Similar to those super rich people, it may seems like they have such an easy life compared to mine, but for all I know, I might be happier than them.  Am I making any sense?  I hope I do.

Throughout my life, I have said and done many stupid things that I might don't want to talk about ever again.  However, those past mistakes make me the person I am today and I am definitely in a much better shape than who I once was.  I admit, I was a pretty angry kid growing up, I hated a lot of things and people, and I survived based on those feelings.  Along the way, I have met people who slowly erase these feeling of hatred and I slowly began to see life from a different light and for the first time in forever, I manage to appreciate my life.  I have been through a phase in my life which I call the "Great Depression" phase.  This will be back in 2012 until recently.  Let just say, all the bottled up feelings prior to 2012 and all the series of unfortunate failures in 2012 were just too much for me to handle.  I admit, it was a tough time for me because I just couldn't find a way to love myself and I was beginning to question myself if it's worth it to stay alive anymore.  I was lucky, I have amazing people like Thairy, Azam and Po Ann that came into my life and gave me a reason to continue to move forward and fight the depression.  I will appreciate them for all my life and will be forever grateful for the kindness that they have showed me.  There are also other friends such as Mae, Aiman, Tity, Esther and a few others that never fail to cheer me up and put a smile on my face and my friendship with them will be treasured for as long as I live.

*taken from Tumblr
For other things in life, to sum it up, all I can say is that I am still very much in love with the same man for nearly 4 years.  He is the first person I think about when I wake up in the morning, and the last person on my mind before I go to sleep.  There's nothing more I want than for him to be happy, I break my own heart if I have to.  He will have all my prayers for his success and happiness in life.  I'm always here for you, and I love you, always have and always will.  In terms of my dream, I am still looking at all possibilities in life, and I know that in time, I will know the right path to choose.  My hope for this coming new "age" of being 25, will be to find the purpose of my life and achieve my life dreams.  That way, maybe...just maybe, I will gain my eternal happiness and my soul can be at peace.  I also hope that at the end of the road, my one true love will be there waiting for me so that I can share all the happiness in the world with him ^_^

So, here's to turning 25 tomorrow...may I have the beginning of a great life ahead ^_^

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